living a nightmare !!

i and my buddy were discussing about women drivers a couple of days back and he narrated an incident to me saying how men and women drivers are different.

Once his lady co worker was driving on highway at 100+ speed and all of a sudden she sees a dead dog on the highway and fumbles with the steering wheel loosing control, so drivers behind had a tough time to avoid an accident.

when i heard that i really rolled inward thinking how horrendous the scene would be and totally empathizing with the lady.

today the same thing happened to me !! luckily the speed was not much and i further slowed from a distance but could not believe that something i heard and dreaded just happened to me.

of course guys hooted at me and found another crazy lady driver tale to narrate to friends but i am still livid thinking of the gory scene !

i guess i was better prepared to handle the situation because i had heard of it earlier, but at the same time, the goose bumps she and i shared would have been the same !!

good the day has come to an end and good that tomorrow is another day !!

Baba now I will get the toy watch for you !

With durga puja around the corner, all bengali households are abuzz with lot of activities, its the Diwali for we bengalis! Some are busy with spring cleaning.. some with last minute shopping.. some deciding with friends the agenda for this puja and yet others doing a bit of all above mentioned..

my house is a buzz with puja shopping, we girls (ma and me) had completed our shopping long back as we are very organized individuals :P.. but baba and baban as usual relied on me to ensure I literally pull my bro out of the house and to the mall to ensure the needful is done.

Two days back I went with baban to get his and baba's shopping done.Since we got exhausted doing baban's shopping I din get any of baba's done and came home with goodies for baban alone.

Baba was sitting on the couch waiting for his goodie bag and when all the bags only unwrapped clothes for baban his face fell like that of a sulking baby's. And that is when I realized he was really looking forward to his new clothes just liked a child and was heart broken when he dint find them. Of course he quickly masked the feeling and went to bed but I started feeling real bad.

Just then an incident from my childhood flashed back in my mind, once I wanted a specific toy wrist watch and realized I would not be able to live long without it after I came home, usually my baba would never give into my tantrums as a kid but that day since i was very sick and crying for the watch was making my health deteriorate, so baba went back and bought the watch from the market far from home, late at night.

The whole morning at work I was feeling restless as I felt I did let down baba in a albeit very small way, and baba would never blame me for it which I as a kid would if did he not get me the watch that night.

Our parents go through so much willingly and selflessly to ensure that we lead a comfortable hassle free life. And as they grow old, still they alone go on giving so much more. But now is the role reversal time.

Today it is my responsibility that I ensure that he gets all that he needs and wants just like as a child he did this and more for me. Of course we can never measure any where close to what our parents have done and are still doing for us but in our own small way we all try to show we understand and respect all they have done.

Baba now I will get the toy watch for you. I ensured I completed his shopping before he came home the next day and he was so thrilled to see the goody bags awaiting him and his joy made my day and relieved my soul.

Fire in the mountain, run run run !!

At work our only constant companion is the need to be churn something different something unique all the time. Being unique today is truck load more difficult that what it was even half a decade ago ! The probability that what I think is a novel thought would have been used maybe minutes back by someone and my big idea would just remain a good idea already used.

When my friends in brand management talk over the phone as meeting is more rare than solar eclipse we always allocate time to discuss this problem! And yet have not come up with solution !

Thinking out of the box is easy to talk about than follow and some methodologies available makes life much more simpler but innovating all the time does take a toll on our mental health. Out performing each time, every time is no longer an option to most of us, its become a way of life. You do have option, either you are in the race or you are out. So actually speaking thinking you have an option is a mirage that some how makes you feel powerful and in control.

I started thinking why are we getting competitive at neurotic pace, why are needs so high and satisfaction levels so low ? Why does our hunger for variety never cease and stability only means stagnancy ? Why is polygamy in and monogamy boring ? Why is danger sexy and right seem so stupid ?

Well this is what I think is the cause of our plight today. Today we have 1000 things which we do not really need and have gone ahead and labeled them as necessity. We want to satisfy others, we are more tuned to strangers and yet we turn deaf ear to the call from with in. Further more we today look around us for strength, for inspiration, for thoughts, for ideas and have forgotten to look inside us. We have forgotten US .. the unique person that each one is, with a set of goods, bads, madness, thoughts, values, preferences etc. Maybe if we spend more time with ourselves, making it a conscious choice we will be able to understand the most basic human relation, the one we share with our own selves, once we reach a stage when this relationship with self turns harmonious, we will be able to transfer this uniqueness from us as a being to our job, to our way of handling problems, to evolve as better people both on and off job.

An acquaintance would always comment saying “you marketing professionals are this” and “you marketing professionals are that”. I always told him “my profession does not define my individuality.” and now to add to it, lets add individuality to our profession only if we understand ourselves better and then bring this understanding to our work. Uniqueness will follow !

small is big

yesterday when i and dexter were off on our evening walk i noticed that a housing society had put barbed wire railing at the lower end of the gate, to keep away stray cats / dogs from entering their compound.

Dexter was going near the gate and i ensured he dint get himself hurt, just then i thought what about the poor creature who would not have someone to guide him, would definitely get hurt!

Furthermore the objective here is to keep away stray animals, that can be easily achieved by using a thickly knitted mesh stuck to the gate which would keep away the stray without hurting it.

Humans who are supposed to be the most evolved of all animals mostly acts in a manner inversely proportional to his intellect ! Or is it inflicting pain to others without a reason is one of the carnal sins that gives us some sadistic pleasure.

Some would feel that the nail incident is too minor to warrant this reaction but some times small things speak lot more that huge incidents!

trick in treat

i am the one who is responsible for dexter's daily dose of medicine.

the moment he hears the word medicine in any language (read as english and bengali) he runs to his haven ie below the dining table and we use this trick word when he is being too naughty so that he stays put for sometime.

i have discovered a novel way of ensuring he gets his daily dose of vitamins and supplements.. i now hide it in his breakfast and feed it to him literally so he never realizes he is taking his pills regularly past two weeks in disguise of his yummy food and i am now minus the heart burns of running around pleading to him sometimes.. sometimes yelling at him to eat his medicines.

So guys try this trick or treat with your pet.. its a god send boon and you can thank me in kind for this amazing trick with is a treat !! rambling... he he he


whoever said you cant have your cake and eat it too !

trip to moon ..

Have you noticed you are a pro when it comes to solving problems of others or pro when it comes to solving your either professional or personal problem and totally clueless while solving the other one !

Well this happens with me often and one day it really got me thinking why does this really happen ?

I discovered that when the problem is what I am facing, I would look at it with all baggages attached.. depending upon the situation the baggage could be either emotional, operational, background, attitudinal (din rake my brain for a few more) or may be a mix of these baggages and so the problem takes the size of a huge bully and we run for a corner to hide in or mourn or bail in time to think of a way to out smart the problem.

But someone else comes around asks you why you so upset and you open flood gates to your anguish, and the guy just walks casually smacks the bully and there boom the bully ie problem just disappears !! just like an angel.

That I think is mainly because the angel looked at the problem from heaven, as it is, minus the baggages and hence could come up with a solution. So he / she could give a solution so easily where we are lost.

So things in life are so simple that we fail to notice them maybe because we are use to such complex situations or we complicate things as we know no other way of doing things.

Maybe thats why many distress book talk about “take a break.. go for a walk .. smell the flowers ..”

So now I try solving my problems by first going to moon I.e. looking at the problem for what it actually is minus my baggages and then solution finding becomes easy and not only that I also manage to find alternate solutions.

So next time you have a problem... just hop and move to moon.. solution will be there once your back from your trip :)




found this interesting quote by Albert Einstein which very much says it all

Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex... It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction.

thanks nishant !

ever since I have started blogging, I have always erged people dear to me to read them. Of course some had to comply because of the under hand techniques I used, some are tough nuts whom I yet have not cracked (to be read as family members !!) but I was really touched by my friend Nishant's gesture.

Well he I guess is the only person I know read all my blog posts till date as he had promised me he would do so. Thanks a lot buddy.

We may not talk to each other everyday, we may not always share our worries, we may not agree on most things yet we would be there in times of need.

Guess thats what human relations are all about. Connecting without connections !

look out for the jasmine

today i and dexter were off on our evening walk,two middle aged house wives were walking behind us, seeing dexter relieve himself they started expressing loudly how much they hated pets as they dirtied the surroundings.

Well I was pretty miffed at their attitude, not because they said they did not like my precious Dexter but because they were using a very uncool tactic of expressing their distaste or distress if it amounts to that.

I thought to myself, these would be the same people who would throw waste outside their house to keep their interiors clean (I am taking the liberty to assume this :)) but come on its a fact.. many do that.. then i thought atleast waste Dexter throws is bio degradable. Just that moment i thought i had a brilliant case here and would love to hear them respond to it..

But Dexter all of a sudden started running and i gave up all thoughts of confronting the ladies (honestly speaking i would not if i had a chance!) but at that time i mentally told those ladies that they can thank their lucky stars and dexter even more now ;)

All of a sudden Dexter ran towards a bush of jasmine flowers and then pow ...the smell of it totally changed my state of mind.. Itl was so heavenly i felt i was in a different world and at peace.Me and Dexter just stood there soaking in the heady fragrance..

Then i thought to myself, in life we will get triggers and balms which diffuse situations, i guess its up to us whom to welcome in our lives to make it more beautiful. Simple decisions like holding on to the balm and letting go of the trigger points would bring about quantum changes in our lives and yet we get so perplexed with the little rough waves that we miss out the bigger picture and fail to see the obvious path ahead.

With this enlightenment off we went Dexter and me hopping .. running... walking... staring and leaking (the last two applies to dexter alone :)...

jack of all trade .. master of ONE

a friend of mine forwarded me a piece of "Gyan" as he calls it ..

edited version is as follows

an eagle, rabbit and fish go to a school. each had to excel in 2/3 courses taken, 3 courses were flying, running and swimming. Obviously each could excel in only one and got demotivated.

moral of the story: focus only in what you excel

well in today's scenario we need master one skill for sure but we also need to have a working knowledge of many other things. Its just not that competition is getting tougher but also we as humans are evolving, kids are smarter than their parents, so really cannot stick to old analogies any longer and i feel analogies just restrict your flight, who knows what is the limit for each individual ? Definitions always tend to restrict the wonderer, boundaries tend to curb the possibilities, we need to always stretch the horizon, be thirsty for more and look beyond the obvious.

More people are creating a niche for themselves and that is because they know where their skill lies and second they have ensured they create a demand for the same !

so today according to me the mantra for success is by all means be jack of all trade as it will get you places only after you have mastered ONE..

learning to unlearn !

today i had gone to a Bengali singing competition, where i had to announce the names.. i pride myself that my Bengali pronunciation is not tampered but the moment i started trying to speak 100 % Bengali, it was difficult and that is when i realized i gotta improve. My Bengali vocabulary was rather limited and fluency was restricted.

When i was analyzing my flaws i was amazed to hear non Bengali kids with fantastic Bengali pronunciation singing Bengali Nazrul Geeti. The ease with which they were singing a whole 3 minute song really was commendable. I have always ensured that my spoken English does not have any Bengali swing to it and now here when i had to speak out names written in English with Bengali pronunciation i was lost !

So here started my voyage to unlearn the English was of pronouncing Bengali words when speaking in Bengali. All of a sudden my sweetest language in the world Bangla became a tongue twister. But i guess i will survive through this predicament and do some more comparing in Bengali.

Friendship – the titanic

Friendship is a relation which is always a subset of some other relation. For example if a parent and off spring relationship has to be successful, they need to be good friends. Like wise take up any relation and it requires the steady foundation of friendship, be it a couple, mentor- pupil, boss- subordinate, two colleagues, siblings and the list is every increasing.

Well I find it mind boggling. Friendship in one hand can be the foundation and the cement to any relationship and yet it alone very vulnerable.
Many a times this gigantic ship just sinks. People change, circumstances change and our approach to them change.

So is friendship without a relationship a vulnerable ship ?
Today when we look with jaundiced eye at any relationship and say every single one of them has lost its charm, does friendship stand a chance ?

According to me, there is too much randomness in the world since time immemorial and if you average them out, then things are on a larger canvas the same.

Earlier there were war, now just add nuclear to it, earlier we had romances, just add multiple to it, earlier there was bigotry, thank god that remains the same, earlier there was hunger for power, now just add super power, earlier there was cholera, now we have aids, I could add in more egs, but I believe in brevity !

So I guess friendship too as a relationship has not changed much, now too we form alliances to meet our mutual objective and once the goal is reached, we break away if that was the only thing binding us. But during the phase of friendship, if we develop another relationship then alone does it lasts.

Have you noticed how work colleagues when they are in the same organization are great buddies but once, either of them change work place, the friendship takes a back seat, that happens with your school or college friends too.

So if a friend has to last it has to be a foundation of a new relationship or bound by a mutual need or complementary need.

dexter my rescue ranger again !

During the 5 days of Ganapati puja, my entire family is vegetarian, including me and dexter. These are the most difficult days for dexter as he believes in non veg protein diet only. So we really have to cajole him to eat the paneers, kheers made with sugar free and the doggie treats but the sweetheart that he is, he would go through his plight with dignity. In case you are wondering who dexter is, he is my almost 5 year old Labrador.

So once we came back after the immersion of our lord, we were sad seeing our little temple still full of lights and beautiful orchids empty. But then dexter as usual came to our rescue.

The moment he smelled the egg ma made for him as we could not buy chicken at night, Dexter started dancing. He finished his dinner in a nanosecond and was hankering for more. When he had his heart's full of the eggs he started clowning around as though he had won mr universe crown. Doing his parades, showing off his victory as once again he ruled our lives as the non veg god ! And we all forgot our sadness and started narrating our favorite dexter story !

I guess he is one of the most wise and endearing personalities I have encountered in my life. Long back I had read this article on stories about pets uncanny nature of knowing the problems of the family which then sounded bizarre. At that time I was totally terrified of dogs as I could not get over the fright poor stray dog had given me. But today I know that poor guy was more terrified than I was.

Today I stand testimony to the fact that pets really make your world rock, either ways, make us sick with worry and apprehension when they are unwell and bring happiness with their antics and give our life a new meaning. Their total helplessness and complete faith in us makes me really go all sentimental as I know this kind of complete trust we humans as babies show only have it for our mother.