Pari hoon main !

This saturday, I took my 15 month old niece to the park behind my house. Its her daily to do thing with my Baba. There I met this bundle of energy named Pari. She came up to us, introduced herself and shared her life story so far of 6 years in the 2.5 hours. Loved her energy, confidence and vivaciousness. Best part she called me didi and told me my teeth are yellow. Haha, way to send you in cloud nine and bring you back to ground zero in few seconds :) I envy the energy the kids  have from starting to end. Both the girls thoroughly entertained me with their antics.

However it got me thinking, how much of my child like nature am I carrying with me, which part of that child like spirit I have brutally cut off and which part am I trying to nurture. 

Introspection is something I love doing but the unflattering outcomes makes me uncomfortable for some time. Then I just bounce back to saying its ok. 

However I got thinking and I would like to believe thinking deep. As a child I would always approach people new to me with an openness, world was always mine to conquer, small joys made my day and worry points in like was that homework I needed to complete else I had to be ready for my Ma's wrath. 

Has much of my situations changed vs my childhood ? Or have I worn new glasses that makes me look at my world differently ?

School got traded for work place

Exams to projects

Openness got traded with experience leading to cynical behaviour most times 

Vivacious self got traded off with cautious schooled appropriate communication so as to not hurt sentiments 

Small joys got traded off the most. Why ? How ? How to reduce the delta ? Is what I am trying to figure out the most.

That unbridled laughter and the end with a snort that my Ma and bro would make most fun of is what I miss most about being me. 

I love reading quotes and the wisdom shared in such few powerful words always impressed me and always got me thinking as well as to how relevant it is even today what great minds had said centuries ago

And quotes about "Living in the moment" always made me mentally shrug  my shoulders  and roll my eyes. However due to  series of life changing events, I have now come to realize the living in the moment is one of the wisest philosophy and one that is most difficult to follow. 

So now am back to school, learning to live in the moment, unlearning too many things which do not serve me anymore. I am now hunting the small joys and being grateful for each one of them

Homework for me is going back to writing this blog - however stupid the post turns out, I am gonna pen my thoughts and not judge them too much 

Openness ah that's a difficult  and easy one - somethings its easy to be open and some others letting go of wisdom gained is difficult. However I am now getting open to the idea of new experiences and ones in a while letting go of the safety blanket loving me and accepting "lets try it"  me 

So here's to celebrating being alive vs just existing, completely cutting off than being polite for society, saying as is honestly but with empathy vs sugar coating the truth, creating vs fitting in. 

Hopefully will get some decent grade this year. 

Cheers to these to young ladies. May they grow to be the strong, independent & empathetic humans !