make shift world

A few days back I was waiting for the lights to go green at an signal and then I saw an old man with a hug bag on his head and bow legs crossing the street with lots of difficulty. I wanted to give the man a lift to his destination but was scared what if the destination was not safe for me. My inward battle continued but the lights turned green and unfortunately I had to drive ahead but I went back to him and gave him money for his destination ride. He looked at me trying to figure out whether I had a catch to it. The simplest thing to do was just move on. So I dont know whether he took the ride in the rickshaw or not but my conscience weighed a little less even though what I did was a peace meal approach.

Great people are selfless and make this world a better place and for the lesser people like me, we create our little make shift world which we try to better. 

the truth about cats & dogs 2

I am not a cat lover like any other cliche dog loyalist and I never give cats a thought even when I see a real cute one. Having said that I do not encourage Dexter to growl or frighten them away either. That's against my "live and let live" principle and always want to inculcate good habits in dexter which I mostly fail in. But off late dexter too has stopped bothering with cats and am kinda proud about it as I like to believe because he has been reprimanded by me often ;)

But off late a cat has been coming to our house past a month and once she even hit dexter with her paw and poor dexter sat like a big dodo get whacked by her who happens to be 1/20th his size! Not only that this cat would also growl (yes not meow like a cat but growl like a tiger) at my ma for milk. It was really funny as ma too would growl back to annoy her and she would growl with added lung power till my ma would admit defeat. At home we have been teasing dexter a lot about how a cat hit him and of course we never thought he would take things to heart.

Whether it was our constant teasing or the annoyance of sharing our affection with a third person (second being fluffy our part time  street dog  pet) but day before when the cat came home and started her usual banter for food Dexter scared the living hell out of her by barking at her till she ran off. What was funny was initially she did not budge till dexter started hopping mad at her.

Ha Ha. Dogs and Cats ... the story continues.. 

gone From the dogs

Had to take dexter for his vaccinations. I love going to the vet only for yearly vaccinations  as that time I am not tensed about his well being and can enjoy the company of so many canines and let dexter also play with the fits ones.

I and Dexter both were having a good time with a pug and cocker spaniel when a huge Rottweiler came in without a leash. I had never seen one up and so close and was not regretting the same then. As you know Dexter is not so brave to put it very mildly :) he dug inside me for protection and I too was seeking protection from the side wall as the Rottweiler's growls were bursting my ear drums. Not being judgmental but keeping us a ferocious dog at home like we have in bombay is kind of not at all normal to say the least.

There is another thing about vet waiting zone, you meet a lot of like minded people who alone can empathize about your crazy affection for animals and treating them as equals or more loved than humans. Its where you share eating habits, discuss dog food (sigh .. Bombay does not have great variety of doggie treat ) and share funny incidents about your pets. So during one such stories, an uncle told us that dogs too have a very strong code of conduct and do not attack their bitches (no pun intended here ) and I was like yes that we cant say about humans, no wonder dogs are better.

The owner of the rottweiler interjected us and said women need to be shown their place some times and there is no better way than hitting them and then he started off with his story of why he hit his wife twice!

I wanted to argue but the rottweiler without a leash instantly helped good sense to prevail and I let go of the topic and felt a bit a coward for not standing for my fellow women clan.

But on my drive home I realized just putting in my point of view to him would not have changed him so no point sulking about it.  What is unsettling is these are not people who are living in slums with no education or are deprived or mentally challenged but people who had the fortune of good education, upbringing and exposure. I say people because there are women too who believe husbands should hit their wives to teach them who wears the pants in the house.

But I guess change of human behavior is rarely instant which is both a boon and a curse but today women and men both are much more assertive and hopefully people with such barbaric thinking will meet their matches who will make them eat their words with humility.

Until then online lashing continues at them :)

Jaane bhi dou yaaroan

Many times letting go has been the cause of my trouble.

As a kid, giving away my chocolate to my friend was the cause of major turmoil, but today I thank my parents who man handled me then so as to ensure I learn to let go of the chocolate.

Later in life, the object of letting go just changed but the turmoil I guess was the same.

My learning from life has been that we make the actual process “letting go” a major event. The time we give away what we treasured physically or mentally, it is just the fag end of process.

Life would be lot simpler if we could realize when we decide that it is time to let go, the very object has gone long back and now handing it over or leaving is merely part of the protocol.

Have you noticed that when you let go, sometimes you feel light, as though you are free from a physical pain, mostly very empty, sole purpose of existing has been snatched away and yet other times too numb to feel anything, then you go to stage of empty.

Nothing better could come of letting go if the feeling the pressure go off. But when there is pain, uncertainty and loss, that is when we need to apply this theory of mine.

Always tell yourself, it was yours then but now no longer and hence there is something else which is now yours. Search for it !

No guarantee that the new thing will be as good as the old, it could be better and if it is worse, we need to try and make it better. If not, let go again and find the new.
I have seen by mentoring myself, I have always looked ahead to change, freedom from stagnancy, flow of new ideas, new avenues, newer opportunity leading to new highs.

Not always will we be successful and not always will we be a failure but not letting go is holding back, stagnating, regressing and acting like a petulant child who refuses to accept world as is.

But my experience with letting go has been always positive. So thats why I am all for letting go.

 

Jaane bhi dou yaaroan !

Golden People in Golden City

I was in Amritsar recently because of work and was really looking forward to visiting the Golden Temple. Usually with expectations it is inverse ratio, I mean if you have huge expectations, what you really get or experience is never up to the mark. But in this case I went with a huge expectation, the feel there was supposed to calm a restless soul like me and it sure did.



The tranquility there is divine and is a starck contrast to the pandomonium there due to devotees doing their various types of pooja (prayers), the saints reciting from the holy book, other saint doing the rituals, throngs of tourists waiting in queue to get in, to get out, to explore, to have the langar (term used in the Sikh religion for free food at the Sikh temple).



I met this very nice elderly couple who very kindly showed me around the Golden Temple and narrated the glorious history behind it with many interesting anecdotes of the city and its people. They were kind and hospitable and invited me for breakfast at their place which I just could not refuse.



Being impersonal comes with staying in Bombay. This is not in a negative sense of the word. In Bombay, you learn to keep your distance with people, neither to get personal nor be brusque. I love this city and things it has taught me.



So I went to their house for tea and on my way back was really touched by their hospitality and had requested them to come home when they visit their daughter in Bombay.



When I told my parents about this, my father was very upset in the wake of things happening now adays.



That really brought me back with a jolt to reality, how true is it, we off late do not trust even people we know and yet I (a very "better be cautious than sorry" kind of person) went to an unknown house to an unknown family in an unknown city and yet felt completely safe as these thoughts not even once bothered me when I was with them.

On my way home bound, I left a city not that unknown, left people I knew a bit and carried with me the little peace I gathered at the Temple. 

All is not lost thank god. Good people still are around, heart still can identify them and spirit that all will be well is not lost.

why o why should you cry ?

Off late I hear a lot of " Our country has gone to the dogs", "Life is bitch", "Trust not even your blood", "Good old times" Everybody is today talking a lot  about the stress they are going through and how much worse today the state of affairs are, be it personal or professional or cultural or system related.

But is n't the good old times the best example of things being worse are, our mythology talks about blood being poisonous (Mahabharat and Ramayan), epidemics  would swipe out a nation, concept of democracy and equality was alien, barbaric deaths was based on the whims of the ruler and fate was a lot more in the hands of mother nature. People would die before they hear from someone who was two state away and seeing the world was like seeing God. Education was a treasure of few and women were treated as cattle.

I for one am thankful to God for letting me enjoy the world that exists today. We live in an era where luxuries very easily get converted to basic necessity. Its no longer "water, food and shelter" its  "spring" water, "diet" food, "series" of  shelter.

Most of us lead the life we dreamt of and if we aint being able to do so its mostly because we have not put in enough efforts. Off course there are stray cases of sheer bad luck but then exceptions cant make the rule.

Maybe its time we stop cribbing about what went wrong and look at what more we have and what best we can do with what we have.

Positive vibes attract more positive vibes and end of the day, a normal day looks fulfilling because we attracted positive feelings and let our mind feel oxygenated with good thoughts.

So what if the country has gone to the dogs, dogs are man's faithful friend, what if life is a bitch, she gives the puppies so much love, trust not your blood, trust yourself as in the end that is what you are left with !

Yes we all are alone at the end of the day, but who is stopping you from not being lonely, enjoy your own company, if you cannot bear yourself, no one else will :)

cynical or realistic ?

The wind that Anna Hazare blew, did make some waves, but did it lead to winds of change ? Time alone will tell.

I did not have my hopes too high and still don't. But was pleasantly surprised to see the decibel rise by youth on various social networking sites.

Changing the system is not a project or operation that can have a time frame, its a process which is dependent on so many parameters and the most critical is persistent effort of like minded people without hidden agenda.

The last part is virtually impossible according to me. Today most have a hidden agenda behind every action and if you dont have one, you are labelled naive. 

Maybe this is the beginning of the end of corruption and dichotomy in the system or just another drop in the sea of efforts which may not raise a tsunami of change, but an effort never the less.

I some how don't have my hopes to high. So does that make me a cynic ?

Cynics, how does one be one, is it a 3 step process or 1 ? Can you be cynical with respect to few things in life or most ? In that case do you become a partial cynic or veteran ?

Or am I being realistic in my approach ? Now isn't being realistic being border line cynical ?

Keeping my fingers crossed for a Incredible India dream and is still keeping the faith, albeit a little dimmer by the day, never the less its there. 

Jai Ho 

truth about cats and dogs

I never liked cats and i was petrified of dogs.


Story has changed 50% today;  yes i still dont like cats!

But I strongly  believe in "live and let live".

So initially when Dexter would chase a cat, I would always teach him to let cats be. Honestly I was surprised initially very surprised by this behavior of his as he is a very non violent dog  (only creature he ever chases is mosquito; that too very unsuccessfully !) I thought it would be some genetic coding that makes dogs and cats not like each other.

So whenever I and he would go on walks I would always reprimand him for chasing cats.

Yesterday on our walk I saw a real sweet cat and I became alert, just about to put a leash on Dexy anticipating him to start his chase. But to my pleasant surprise my boy did not bother!

He just gave the cat, "could not care less" look of his and moved on. Just as we moved ahead, I can swear he looked at me  smugly; like he was saying " gotcha !".

I really felt like a proud momma and floated a bit on the air for a as long as my humble weight allowed me (read as nanosecond).

I guess this boy would not stop to make my life full of fun.

But  honestly till date I never understood why cats and dogs dont like each other and not only that it also gets transferred to cat people and dog people !

Some answers in life are best not pursued too much as the essence lies in guessing the answer, the answer itself may be mundane as the thrill is in the chase and not the catch!
but then what is life without a bit of craziness !

art of making friends !

We have relatives from kolkatta.

Before coming here they were very anxious and petrified if i may add, not knowing what to expect when you hear that there is a dog who stays in the same house as the family, shares their bed, is spoilt and pampered silly.(Ha ha I  can imagine their dilemma !)

Their first encounter with Dexter was really funny. I and bro had gone to pick them up and my baba got this brainer that he should take dexter out for a walk at 4:30 am so that he is not home when they come and they get some time to get used to the fact called dexter.

Unfortunately and as usual baba goofed up with the timings so low and behold ,Dexter was down when they arrived and Dexter being Dexter was on red alert as his mom had strangers in her car and came running up to me rescue me from the tangles of strange people he absolutely knew nothing about.

They were devastated not only by his size but also his volume and energy, more so after a long and tiresome journey, the jumping and barking was the most unwelcome welcome anyone would look forward to.


But again Dexter being Dexter..... soon became friends with my relatives. Within the first day they had graduated from being petrified to patting his head with one finger. (But no means a small achievement !)

But then came the next problem, he refused to allow them to sleep on my parents bed as that is the one he shares with them..

So yes guys my guests are sleeping on mattresses on the floor and dexter is ruling the bed !

But thank god for peace returning to our paradise... guests seem to have overcome their fear  and now a days dexter wakes up his new play mate with a lick (which is again unwelcome), hey I never claimed paradise to be perfect !