Tears of Why !

Living in India now has a new meaning for women. She has been tortured and suppressed all this while but now the rape demon has raised its ugly head past two years higher and is more powerful

Still Nirbhaya's main culprit is protected by law, the bombay rape victim verdict is yet to be out, thousands of nameless / faceless women are victim to it daily, either the family does not allow her to seek the law or she is disillusioned by law or worse still people part of our law and order system are cause of her plight ! 

Yes its nothing new and yes I can feel unsafe and yes I cant change law nor the mentality of Indians overnight. Yes I am part of rallies to raise voice against injustice to women but not every time in person. 

So what can I change ? I can change only Me !

The quote "Better safe than sorry" now has a new meaning for me. Earlier I would think its an excuse to hide your lack of courage. Today it means I have wisdom to let go. So yes no longer do I drive across the city at night alone. No longer do I go to shady place, praying that God will take care of me, no longer I dress to kill - well not if I am gonna walk down streets or go to unfamiliar place and inform my parents about my whereabouts which was very annoying thing earlier to do but now suddenly I feel safe that my parents / bro know where I am. 

I have started learning kick boxing and that gives me the hope that even though I will be alone and vulnerable I will not give up without a fight. And like they say Surprise is the best weapon. So if any girl is reading this I really urge you to enroll in some form of self defence course and check the following websites for self defence techniques but ensure you are serious and ready for a long term commitment. 

Few interesting articles around

http://www.womenonguard.com/safety_tips.htm

http://www.attackproof.com/10-best-self-defense-tips.html

http://www.rediff.com/getahead/slide-show/slide-show-1-specials-10-self-defense-tips-every-woman-should-know/20131021.htm

http://powertochange.com/life/personalsafetytips/

http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2009-11-10/man-woman/28086753_1_weapons-mobile-phone-arenas

Also some mobile applications that come handy

http://womensissues.about.com/od/violenceagainstwomen/tp/Best-Apps-For-Women-Concerned-With-Safety-And-Security.htm

But here are some critical tips I have learnt over the period of time

1) ALWAYS ensure your Mobile Battery is fully charged when you are going out or Have a spare phone

2) Keep LOCATION on of your smart phone

3) Always carry some everyday use thing that can be used as weapon - dupatta, nail filer, pepper spray, long nails, sharp teeth, big heavy bag and your cool composed self 

4) Never loose cool in situations where there are too many men involved together - even if you hate it try your damnest  best to be diplomatic even if it spiritually kills you

As I live and learn more, I intend to update this list. 

So hope more humans across the world take steps to change their plight and unite against the sexual harassment demon. 

So lets not cry why but try to protect and prevent by being first aware, committing to self and spreading the word. 

Delli Belly

I always hated Delhi because of the people there. Either they are super rude or else fake sweet and all lack professionalism. The "Haan ji Sir ji" ( A "Yes sir" dripping with a bucket full of honey) be it sweet or rude, does not help if my work is not done on time due to the "Chal ta hain" attitude. ( "brushing off things like rules because people think they don't matter”)

Another thing unique about Delhi is Everybody and when I say everybody I mean Everybody has Some Political connection. Be it Friends brother in laws, second cousins- brother in laws - Uncle's friend but connection is there and however distant the connection - it is still very strong to make you want to be weary of the person to take panga ! (Pick a fight) 

And Everybody brags. be it Subtle or shamelessly - the bragging is always there. Just like air, it is critical for living in delhi. 

This time when I went to Delhi for work and was first mildly amused at my Angreji speaking driver who claimed to live in the same lane as Mrs Indira Gandhi, whose cow's / bullock's milk goes to the MPs & MLAs and I was wondering whether the bullshit was being directed towards me that particular day. His brothers are CA and CS. & his kids were born because of a baba's ashirwaad (blessings)

Being a Bombayite all my life (Yes I hate the word Mumbai) and though I have lived most of my life in Navi Mumbai, new bombayite is what I actually am but thats meat for a future blog post. Ok now I lost my point. Well whats great about bombay is we dont have time to do idle chit chat with the all and sundry. We reserve it only for people we love, care, we are curious about or we can get our work done with but still its not all and sundry. So after the initial "Ms Congeniality" version of me bid adieu, the blue blood bombayite rose and I stopped being responding too much to his non stop yapping. 

Amongst the non stop yapping I could filter out some real interesting things. 

One he believes machines cannot give you any health. Walk as much as possible. I asked him about his belli, he said " Madam ji buddha ho gaya hoon tou chalta hain". But if you think of it, what he said had a lot of depth, jogging, swimming, mountain climbing, kick boxing, yoga, martial arts did not require machine but are the great forms of workout.  

Second, in India there is atleast one Baba who will make your dreams come true. You just have to hunt for the right one. He happened to have found his and if you have your baba it gives u license to bitch about all the other babas who are dhongi (fake). I am a total Anti Baba however educated sophisticated he or she may be.. but totally agree most of us do have if not a baba, a jyothish (astrologer), a tarot card reader, a psychiatrist.. someone we can blame when things dont go our way. Ha ha am guilty of one, now you guess which one ..

Third, India is country where we blame our population size for everything that goes wrong. Which really struck me. I too give that lame excuse when I want to defend my country and its people from the criticism we always gather across the world. 

Whatever be the reason, he sure is someone I will not forget for some time soon whenever I encounter an other Delhi Cabbie with a Belli and attitude. 

Somewhere we connected throughout the pandemonium of the day and at night when I went to sleep, I did pray for his well being that night. 

Guess it is to do with being Indian. The new age Indian loves to believe he / she is independant, cares two hoots about any one other than self, is super suave to handle stress alone but beneath all the glitter is gold deep down. We do value the Indian factor that binds us mostly in pain or during cricket matches. 

Subh Dipavali

I have not been writing for a long time. Not motivated enough as no new thoughts hit me in a long time and I let my small problems govern my life

Yesterday I was talking to an old friend who told me I should start writing back and atleast one person will read it.Felt so good that no longer I have to make my family read my blog on gun point and continuous verbal torture. He asked me to take the theme of DiwaliAnd here I go..
Every year in Bombay there is this competition between society members which is unofficial, non verbal and very fierce - who lights their house best. Why mostly amongst society members as all of us have matchbox size house and diwali gives us a means to shine brighter than the rest. Over the years the number of lights outside the house has increased every diwali and the light within our souls have diminished. Having said that, I too am an enthusiastic contender in this non verbal, not at all subtle competition, so this time I went to Crawford market to buy my unique lights and hope they are really unique :)Today the charm of diwali from sharing joy and cheer has gone to spreading awareness of ones affluence. The bigger lights, the louder crackers, the bigger or more expensive sweet and yet the ever so small hearts, the narrow thought process, the increasing apathy and worse the increasing lack of trust. Today if someone out of his or her way does anything good to me, I will first be weary of what favors does he or she want from me. So we dont accept things on face value and wrack our brains to dig deeper for the so called "real reason" behind the goodness around. This obviously discourages the do gooders to restrict their operations in most cases and the incurables ones like my parents still go on despite too many wounds. My parents both are the strong believers of the philosophy of " Do good for others without expectations and God will take care of you."Several decades of Murphy ruling their life ( The Devil's philosopher of the infamous Murphy's law - whatever can go wrong will go wrong) my parents still believe in their philosophy.My brother and me always laugh at them but hate it how totally unwillingly the same philosophy - thank god a lot dilute version has also been rubbed off into us. We too burn our fingers but keep our heart safe and call our mistakes of doing good to people who later create trouble for us as experience and move ahead.Somehow in this process our hearts have become stronger and our souls more humble. We both believe that life is too short to be happy or sad about. Its a ride, your destiny is the driver, you can give it directions but it follows the path which the gps created by God dictates. So this Diwali, Yes is will put on my unique lights, my  new floral rangoli, my recycled diyas and the shop bought sweets, celebrate another year of from darkness to light. & continue to grumble that mine was not the best lighting or rangoli and next year my zest for the best would be stronger and my source of light hopefully internal and not on the streets of Crawford market!

My last years master pieces :)