Mother in particular , Family in general
The first thing I guess all learn from the relationship shared with our mother. I grew up seeing her intense love for my father, as most men behave, he too was and is pretty insensitive which has time and again hurt her, but she each time has forgiven him and loved him despite it, I really don’t know if am capable of this kind of love. My Ma is the quintessential wife and mother. Her life rotates and revolves and summer saults around baba, my brother and me. It is amazing as well as scary to see her in her elements, amazing cause there is so much love and caring she has to give to us and scary because of the expectations she has not in return of what she is giving to me, but as a token of appreciation is very high, and I am too selfish to give her that. And yet we are here inseparable inspite of our strong difference of opinion coz of the strange bond we share.
One thing that made me realize how much I love her was when I decided to go to Ahmedabad, as I wanted to experiment independence and space. The first month I spend in doing up my home, so that I would be less home sick and love it there. But as days passed by I realized the more beautiful things I bought to make this apartment a house more it felt like these things would look good in my own house, back in Bombay.After that what ever I bought I would take it back home on the weekends.
Within that month it dawned to me 2 facts:
1- I am hopelessly in love with my family
2- I am a even bigger bull shitter, I wanted independence but in real am totally dependant on my family, you know the total creeper.
So that was when I realized I was in love with my tormentors from whom I wanted freedom and could not stay 600 kms apart. Is it case of blood is thicker than water? I guess it is.
But moment I came back to Bombay it was again the eternal pursuit for happiness, my parents would never let me forget I came back home with my tail between my legs like a big time looser and I again started fantasizing and threatening a come back or shall I say in my case a go back thingy.. the battle is on .. of course its not even half hearted its just the hallow bamboo shout I throw at them when they try to suffocate me with this love or righteousness.
Dexter .. my bundle of love n craziness
Responsibility of another living being forces another relation, some choose to go full on into it and do all you can to take care of the other creature, some ensure the relationship is one of convenience, while some other blatantly abuse the relationship.
The relationship my family shares with Dexter, our four year old Labrador is off late one of my cherished relations. Until Dexy came in my life, dogs terrify me was a gross understatement, the paranoia I had for them was legendary. But as life would have it, bro wanted a dog home, and somehow Dexter was here, this little bundle in beige with huge eyes and little kiddy teeth.
The first time we saw each other, each sizing each other, I guess he liked what he saw and came to smell me, well whom am I kidding he even smells poop so that was his cursory reaction smelling me and I was terrified. Bro held on to my hand and made me touch him for the first time and rest is history.
Dexter is the first dog we had at home so my entire family had lots to learn. He pooped and peed at home initially.He ran his teeth through everything, no distinction to edible, non edible, carcinogenic, valuable, you name it .. he had visited it.Our house made him feel like alice in wonderland and he took full advantage of the fact that we were totally clueless in dealing with him.
Gradually we could make him understand his name is Dexter, what he should be eating, where to poop and pee, and loads of other instructions and in return, he taught me how to love, unconditional, total and not to hide my feelings.
He made me feel responsible for the existence of another living thing. I would wake up nights at stretch to take care of him when he is sick, religiously give him his medication which I never did for myself.
All this for just one thing, when I came back from work, his clowning around would make my world a brighter place. In him I found my childhood and my family found a reason to smile. Some how at the back of my mind I always count the days spend together as I know he won’t be there forever and that saddens me a lot but then life is all about moments and I bring myself back to the present one and see Dexter come to me with a ball to play with, so here I go..
Friendship .. Jai n Veeru isthytle
Friendship, a relation of choice, where we hop in uncertain but with time we realize the value of it and then learn to preserve it or do away with it. Sometimes it’s a spur of a moment decision to befriend someone, which lasts a lifetime and sometimes its situation that drags two people together, leaving them no other alternative but to develop a friendship to survive.
When I think of a cherished friendship, I think of Ketan, my buddy from school, we were together 3 grades and shared a very special bond, we would fight with each other so much that as punishment we would be made to sit together so that we develop tolerance for each other. I would divide the bench by drawing a line and ensure he gets adequately punished for crossing the line, sometimes it would be punishment without a reason. But gradually tolerance is what we developed towards each other. We actually gradually became friends.
As we were growing up, our friendship got names it dint deserve so I stopped talking to him, and he got sick so wouldn’t come to school. Last I remember him coming to school, very week. Looked like a shadow of his old self, asking me for notes. I gave it to him but dint talk much and he said sorry and went away. I still remember the day I got the news that Ketan was no more, he died of cancer. The reason he missed school was he was severely sick, but he never let me know that. He knew it would be difficult for me.
I still remember him at times and in all my relation of friendships I somewhere search for Ketan. But life is so full of surprises, my brother and his brother are best friends even though they dint go to the same school, nor had the same set of friends. I guess this is Ketan’s way of still being there as a friend in my life.
Boss .. yes the creature you deal with every morning !!
Mentor, a guide, a philosopher, a parent without the strings, many of us have shared a unique relation with our tormentor at work, our boss. How we love to hate them and feel we could handle situations much better than they did. We love to keep sick nick names for them and code names for all the things they do.
The best relation of a boss and subordinate I shared was with Mr Chatterjee. The whole office was scared of him, well not coz of his looks, he is very handsome but for the respect he commanded. He would push me to think out of the box and encourage me to try new things. He would always take me to a new world and leave me free to explore on my own and would be there to guide me when I needed it, never asking anything in return.He taught me that its ok if you go wrong in something new you were trying but at least now you know what not to do and why.
Mentors have insatiable hunger to learn more all their lives and want to share the good knowledge they have learned all their lives and for that they keep updating. I am so proud of him that at the age of 56 he has gone to USA to study something new. This thirst for knowledge, the urge to do better and the charisma to make others also follow, to lead by example is what made him so larger than life.
The relation I shared with him is strong till date, the connection is for ever, he always knows when I need him to be there and he ensures he is there without my asking. Yes he is my mentor my guide my philosopher and a parent without string…
Superman a myth..still i hold on to my dream :)
And now here I am waiting for the relationship of a lifetime. Waiting to get swept off my feet, which is really difficult considering my weight, as a result I have taken up dieting with a new zeal, loving, caring, and giving unconditional and total. But I am yet to figure out the protocol, or find a user manual as I don’t want to be taken for granted nor do I want to be hurt. When I sit here on my comp, dreaming my girly fantasies, the total submission to another human being freaks me, excites me leaving a funny sensation in the bit of my stomach.
Yes relationships indeed are a fully loaded surprise package deal, gives us a reason to wake up each morning, to smile, to feel pain, to overcome pain and live again, to make mistakes, to know its ok to be wrong and yet someone will love you inspite of your bad hair day, to be angry and yet give someone the power to melt you with a smile or a touch, to expect and bring in surprise into another life, to mean the world and make someone your world, to hurt and enjoy that demonic feeling for a bit and then to give in more love once the lesson that need to be learned is done. Yes relationships are amazing as they really teach you to live life and accept it with all its ups and downs, flips and flops, surprises and blow ups…
Merry Christmas
