days of our lives !!

today my alarm clock turned out to be a night mare buzzing way ahead of time.. i saw this absolutely illogical and freaky dream at 4 am and have been awake ever since so you can imagine my mood today and the events that proceeded this were in climaxing order of annoyance and out of turn that it wins the award for worst day so far this year..

now that am back home and have the luxury of retrospecting i realized i knew i should not have let things affect me and more i let them affect me.. more i alone get affected.. ya am rambling.. c how affected i am !!

basically its a vicious cycle and whats annoying and hilarious am enlightened about this fact and yet i let situations and people effect me !!

when things are not in our control, letting go seems so difficult when actually there is nothing to let go as it was not under your control anyways. its just a mirage, we love to believe that we can rule situations. We can only make best use of situations to ensure what we want is met. changing situations is just a myth. you use them to ensure that the end is in sync with your needs.

further more we would blame ourselves / our ancestors / god /cat / aliens .. just about anybody when the end is not the end we wanted !!

but then since nothing is really under our control and if whatever has to happen will happen then what is our role in this gamut of things ?
finding out what is our role is our eternal strive that keeps us kicking and alive, we in ways unknown to us right away fit perfectly in the big sphere of living, do our bit ... even if it is doing nothing and then wither away to unknown existence we call death to make things structured and logical for us

we love order, moment we do not know something, we transform the unknown to known form not trying to verify its existence but remain smug with the feeling we have typecasted it out..

yes this is how are the days of our lives.. living,,, feeling.. hurting.. healing.. fooling... getting fooled.. happy.. miserable.. disillusioned ..deluded...

but how we live does not matter as long as we bring in happiness to ourselves and others depended on us !!