nothing has really changed !!

well today's paper really ,made me think this!! two women committed suicide as they were harassed by hubby and in laws for having girl child.

We are talking of going and staying in moon in one breadth and in that same breadth we talk about boys ensuring the generation continues ?

What surprises me more is not the man's attitude but that of woman. A woman can alone understand a woman best and she always ensures that she is a cause of misery for woman. I thought maybe a broader outlook towards life by staying in a cosmopolitan environment will change their perceptions. Education will bring in enlightenment. But these two incidences took place in Bombay the so called New York of India. What can be a bigger shallow gag than this one?

And if its not something as extreme as this, woman as a sibling always goes through gender bias at home where she looks for strength.. for self worth .. for courage to face the outer world. Why are n't mothers more atuned to the needs of her girl child than boy. Why even today woman have to make the sacrifice for the man ? Why even today woman who have to work after marriage have to come home and be the one to cook in most cases ?

And am talking about only cities in this case. These moms and mon -in laws would wear versace and gucci and yet have the mentality of their grandmom's


What really is alarming that the so called today's generation is not much different from the generation before give a few brownie points. They hold on to the same taboos and mis conceptions.

Well I hope the generation that comes by in the next 10 years is more liberated and dont carry the baggages of their parents. With more western influences doing their good in many ways and we with our perchant love to ape them might bring in some positive changes in our attitude towards girl child.

Sweet and Sour ketchup of life .. its different

I always wondered when I ate sweet and sour tomato ketchup that how can it be both sweet and sour. (Now wait a minute! Do we Eat or Drink ketchup.. Brilliant question.. Can be really taken up for research.. any takers there ??)

Well I guess best eg of sweet and sour is life. Some days are so plain and boring and then out of no where we experience something unique that makes life all spiced up. And I guess its the surprise package called experiences that makes all the difference !!

Some really funny and some no so funny experience I can term as sweet and sour sauce are down here

once while crossing the road as a school kid, a small girl from no where came and caught hold of my hand and asked me to help her cross the road.. (Sweet) after I did she just vanished I was wondering was she really there in the first place. She was very pretty just like a baby doll I had then.

What did I expect a 5 year old to do anyways ? (Sour)
So here the strange bit was my expectation for a thank you

another one was really funny one about putting my foot in my mouth.. giving you the latest eg as I have a Phd in that one

I was at a friends engagement ceremony and I was with sitting with a girl I met there and the photographer was making the couple take 1970's poses so I told the girl “these oldies shouldn't be in the photographing professional as they really make them take antic silent movie poses.” and she goes “ he is my uncle” (Sour) and I was like,” ya true old is gold.” (Sweet)

what was I thinking man...


once during my mba days I realised the sheer joy of bunking lectures. I took to it more seriously than religion (na in my case wwe as I am not into religion). We had a mid term exam in the 3rd lecture and I just had to bunk the 2 lectures prior to that as a new formed norm. Jigs and I reached the lecture hall bang on time (read 10 mins prior to 3 lecture) and we were shocked as the entire class is writing mid term exams and grinning at us (very bad manners !!) and we are the only (over) smart asses outside. (very Sour) As we both were not good at cooking up tales we meekly requested to be forgiven, our teacher was generous enough to give us 20 mins extra to finish the mid term paper. (sweet) and that was the fastest I had ever written a paper!! Schumacher you have competition here on paper !!

then onwards we were reformed. We would stay outside the class and bunk lectures the day there were mid term exams.


I was in Loretto Convent school till 3rd grade which allowed boys up till 4th grade so we had only 7 boys in our class of 37. we would make strategies to torture the boys and made their lives literally living hell. (Very Sweet) But as they say life is full of circles. In 3rd grade we moved to Vashi and went to Fr Agnel school which had co education. All of a sudden my life became a nightmare. In our class of 60 there were only 20 girls. Boys not only out numbered us badly I then learned a bitter truth about them they ace as bullies. My exploits as a bully that I was so proud of them then, dint even qualify as amateur in front of these pros. (Sour)

I was like a scared puppy in this mean mean world of bulldogs. But soon we had a girl gang and we took our revenge by studying better and becoming monitors. Ya the world is gol and har paap ka double role. So now you know who would be kneeling outside the class every day. (Sweet again)

My mom would buy sweets and hide them in the fridge. I really never understood her hiding place. Anyways and I would always as a child find it out too easy and then hide them in the best place where ma could not see but dont know how she would always know that its in there.. my stomach.

After being repeatedly whacked real hard by ma I decided I needed to outsmart her. So I nibbled the gulab jamuns and turned them upside down .. meaning the nibbled side down. (Yummy Sweet) Guests came over and were served nibbled gulab jamuns by me. All of a sudden I decided to become the angel daughter and hostess. But little did I know when the guests picked up their gulab jamuns they could see the nibbled portion and none of them ate it. I was even more happy. All the gulab jamuns are mine.

My happiness was short lived. Their kid had a bigger mouth than other parts of his anatomy. He very innocently asked my ma, did the mouse in the house nibble some part of his gulab jamun. That was it .. I not only had to apologize to all the people there I received a whacking that still has left scars in my soul (ya its a bit filmy so what). (Still very sour) But the kid with a bigger mouth than rest of his anatomy was not left either without a scar. We played dark room the next day at his place and I and my gang hit the shit out of him during the game. (How sweet wont you agree )


Well these are the ones I can remember as of now.. will be updating this one as I remember more incidences

random acts of kindness

today i was really touched by the auto driver in bangalore.. i was in a rush to reach the airport and dinno where the bus stand to the airport was, this auto driver took me there with lots of consultation and waited till i got a bus so that i boarded the right bus.

so many times total strangers or people who otherwise seem to be not too kind touch our lives with acts of kindness..

there is this old aunty in our housing block who is really annoying most of the times with no regards to other people's time so usually steer clear of her way when she comes home but one day what she told me changed my attitude towards her, she said she keeps water in bowls outside her window so that the birds can drink that water since it is so hot outside.. later i read an article on the effect of the summer blast this year on animals, the writer suggested the same thing in order to care for the birds. it was so thoughtful of her. ma and i too decided to do the same. now she has gone to her son's house, so the birds have a new water joint.

thoughtfulness always makes the world a better place

one of my family friend adopted a street dog that had a leg less so that she could take care of him. her love for the dog, he is called "leet" , now don't ask me why, is very touching. he is her bundle of joy and even though she herself is sick because of diabetic complications, she goes all the way to take uttermost care of him..leet is old now and has a lot of diseases because of his age. yet to her he is the most beautiful baby ever.

its not one of act of kindness.. its years of responsibility


once i was in chennai airport and my friend came there to see me off as we couldn't meet during my stay in there. we met after long and had lots to catch up on but then an old gentleman comes up to us and asks us directions to a place in the city.. my friend tried directing him but on realizing that the man is unable to understand, we called his son up to pick him up.. but the son said he is busy at work and the old man would have to wait there untill he was done.. my friend readily agreed to drop him home.. the smile on the old man's face still warms my heart and made me feel proud of my friend. we couldn't catch up with each other after that but he did ensure someone was safe and sound.

smile is the most precious gift one can give

once i and my friend were just about to dig in our chocolate cone ice cream during an hot summer day, two small kids came running to us begging.. usually i don't entertain child beggars but that day was so hot so we both gave away our ice creams .. the smile and the fun way these kids relished the ice cream is still very green in my memory..

joy given others brings in greater joy..

there are so many instances where in an elder animal acts as surrogate mother to a baby of different species.. i use to collect these pics they would give in the paper.. they remind me of life is beautiful.

these random acts of kindness done by stranger to stranger forms an unforgettable bonds which binds the universe. reminds us that our lives are inter connected.. be it humans, animals, plants..

a touch .. a smile.. a gesture.. a shoulder .. a hand.. a ear.. is all it takes to make a little difference in this otherwise senseless.. selfish.. insensitive.. cruel world..

and thank god that so many creatures do go all out and really make this world a better place to live with their selfless acts of kindness..



Just to add on to this .. one of my friend was reading this post and then told me that he keeps buckets of water outside his shop for cows and dogs along with birds to drink

i am again touched by this thoughtful gesture

ok virain now you can send me the choco box you promised for writing you name in my blog and making u world famous in India :D

death .. journey or destination ?

i was in bangalore for a couple of days, well bangaluru now.. and one day i see a band playing with lot of zest .. i thought another wedding procession, then i c a palki adorned with beautiful yellow flowers, and i search for the bride thinking its a palki carrying the bride, how it use to happen centuries ago in bengal, i am surprised to see a dead body of an old man being carried with so much grandeur.

my coworker told me that in Karnataka they celebrate death as it is the beginning of the new journey towards heaven.. that got me thinking

i have n't looked at death in this manner, it always meant the end to me. final destination in the journey of life. i have experienced the pain of death like anybody else,seen different kind of deaths at close quarters, old age, accidental, suicidal, but even now thinking of all the loss does leave a dull ache in my heart.

i was reading about this 11 year old suicide bomber who believes by dieing as a jhehadi he would go to heaven with 70 virgins.

its a "just for your information " thing. no comments on that !!

there are so many amusing and ridiculous theories surrounding death .. i always fear my days with dexter are numbered.. one day a co worker told me that dog's life is blessed as they become humans after dog's life.. sure buddy.. i agree dog's life is blessed but that doesn't include the becomming human after death part!!

then there is the belief of rebirth which i find fascinating as some people have experienced that in real .. but it is so over rated in India or is it just bengali's that do it am not too sure.. when my grand parents died, any birth in our family was considered their rebirth, doesn't matter if its after few years of their death. the most popular theory of rebirth states that rebirth happens instantly not after years.

the fascination man has with future really boggles me. we ponder and build theories about the future which is as uncertain as sensex and of no consequence today that we totally loose focus and importance of what today holds for us. today is what will make the tomorrow and why bother about the future when there is so much not done today.

well death is the last truth of life and however painful it is .. there is no respite from it ..and what happens after death no body alive really knows for sure.. so i now shove the thought of death away and dig on the lindt lying alone and lonely in the frig.. i am the rescue ranger

mr right..No contenders

someone asked me what i felt bout romantic love and that really got me thinking on it... and here is what i think..

till date my ideal man is Raj from DDLJ. i think he represents what most woman want in a life partner..

He might flirt with other hot chicks in the world but only YOU are the Only Hot chick that matters the world to him

He would think of me as a hot chick even if of how i look or however big a pain i am to be with sometimes (but that is pre the brain surgery !!)

He would make me laugh through my tears and make me cry out of happiness

He would know what to say to make my weak at knees and yet i would know he really means every word of it

He would bear me through the bouts of PMS or anything that makes me behave like a nut at times

He would show me the right path when i falter and be there to support me when its difficult to follow it

He would know what i am thinking or feeling even before i tell him a word..

He might forget dates like birthday but would make me feel special in many ways each day

He would win over my parents irrespective of the degree of their some times irrational behavior

He would make my world rock and make me feel complete and grow old in the company of his warmth and ready to take on together whatever the future holds..


daz my mr right .. no contenders though ..

only one chance to make a beginning

usually i hate to travel by train as it brings the view of poverty notch closer than i have to bear anyways..

unfortunately today i couldn't give the train a miss. i met this old punjabi lady who was selling bags, she was suffering from Alzheimer and was very feeble.. the aura she had around herself was royal.. she didn't want our sympathy nor our empathy, like the little boys and girls she too was selling her ware. she couldn't scream out marketing slogans highlighting the usp of her bags but there was something about her that made everyone take notice of her. i guess it was her persona that took me by awe.

usually i don't dig into others business but i had this huge urge to talk to her..to know her.. maybe that was because she resembled my grand ma or maybe she looked so royal or maybe coz i saw a connection which to explain via words is not possible for me..

by the time the internal debate bout approaching her had reached its conclusion, she got down from the train.. and i am left only with the bags i bought from her to remind me of her..

we get only one chance to make a beginning.. if we don't grab it with both hands we will never get it back.. i do feel disappointed that i could not get to talk to her.. will never get to know her..

actually this has happened quite a few times with me.. and i guess it does happen to all of us sometimes..you meet someone and there is this instant connect, this bond which is invisible or you exchange words over the phone with someone or chat up some one on the internet and you feel that person is so much in ease with you and vise verse

but many a times we loose out opportunity to make something substantial out of it because of the internal debate whether we should be friend a stranger .. maybe its from our experience with people we know.. who have been a part of our lives .. and whom we have helped and comforted in all the ways we know.. have all of a sudden have abandoned us. that feeling of hurt.. betrayal.. has had such a deep impact on our minds.. hearts and soul that today we do not want to get into something new and then go through the same cycle of knowing.. caring.. loving.. trusting and then getting betrayed by them ..

we are weary .. with a very solid reason to trust someone new..

But then what a life will it be if we sit on the fence and not try new things.. life will pass by us and we will stand by all alone definitely Unhappy...

So true .. only one chance to make a beginning .. need to grab it.. may be it will be the key to future happiness or may frizzle out of our lives.. but atleast an attempt to make our life more happy is made in the process.

the adult in every child..

Dexter is my 4 yr old bundle of joy in the form of a beige Labrador, he weighs about 45 kg and is about 5 feet in length, so his vital stats dominate people's perception about his nature. Most of them think he is just waiting to pounce on every unsuspecting human on the street. And the anticipation on their face when they see Dexter and sigh of relief after he passes them by with a “ too high to bother looking at you” attitude, both are real comic.

I am into this new game called “ Guess the adult in me”
The game is real simple, I guess what kind of adults will the little kids who come in contact with Dexter and me during our evening walks will turn out to be, based on their reaction to Dexter.



FaRts



There are these little ones who will start to whale the moment they see Dexter some 30 meters away, seeing their expressions I am worried it might just frighten Dexter away. These are the “Whiners” or the “Drama Queens” of tomorrow. They are the ones who will fabricate innovative reasons for cribbing and will ensure that their audience not only agrees with them but also goes back feeling the world is a horrible place. Once their job with you is done, they will move to their next target. The admirable thing about them is they always pull in a crowd of sympathizers, how ever short lived but they do pull in a crowd. These people are best when you want important news spread around.

I call them “Farts”, they create an unhealthy environment where ever they go, they don't have substance and unfortunately spring up faithfully at an in opportune time, when you already low or embarrassed because of something else.

Fuski boMbs



Then there are these kids who will fake bravery to just prove a point to their peers, come near Dexter and shout his name, the moment Dexter so much as glances at them, they will run as though their rear end has caught fire. These are the “Wanna bes”. They want to be the Diva and Dudes of any social gathering, they want to be heard and looked up but only problem is they seldom have substance. They will go great lengths though to prove otherwise and mostly end up making a fool of themselves. Yet the admirable thing about them is they don't take failure to heart inspite of it being their constant partner.

I call them “Fuski bombs” or if you should have it all in english its “Faulty bombs” well that takes the tang out of the expression.. they show a great promise, deliver nothing. Quite simple.

CoConuts





The next lot is of kids who see Dexter, want to befriend him but are scared looking at his stats, after all size does matter. These are the “No non sense” types. They wont prevent bravery when they are scared, they will say no to a task they cant do. They are very self aware and work towards strengthening their weakness and building on to their strength. I have noticed that with time, these kids get over their fear of Dexter as it is based on just the superficial basis of size, they slowly come closer to Dexter and within days want to even play with him. Dexter being his royal highness only chases the female in any species.

I call them “coconuts”, though they may not look very promising from their external appearance, they are real beautiful inside, have a lot of depth and know how to utilize their strengths and turn weaknesses into power. Like each part of coconut serves a purpose, these also find a way around everything but take their time.

MoBile







Then there are those “Extroverts” who are the soul of every party, or activity they participate in. These kids will run up to Dexter, baffle me with their pandora of questions and follow Dexter around like loyal guards of the king. I get a bit worked up with them following us as I wouldn't want their parents to blame me when these kids trouble their parents up for wanting a pet at home. And these kids are the persistent types like Dexter, come hell or high water, they will ensure that they get what they want. These are the ones who thrive on challenge, the go getters who ensure they get it all.

I call them “ mobiles” , they are fully loaded, communicate well, efficient, deliver what they say and are multi tasking with equal efficiency.

PS: Labs now have a new address, thanks to Dexter, now I see so many labs around my house that I am scared that those glares I receive from Dog haters will soon upgrade from non vocal communication to vocal communication and next physical communication.. as the pooh and pee population around the locality is increasing. I agree that the sight and the smell is anything but appealing but then when was life fair? For a change it is being unfair favoring me. :)