fire.. no longer do you keep me warm

I have been very lucky in life, whenever trouble came, god always took special care of me. Couple of days back, I fell while getting inside my car at the parking lot in a mall, I dropped my wallet in there and went home, just when I reached my building I realized my loss and went back to the mall, the drive back seemed longer and I prayed ardently to god asking him to keep my wallet in tact. God did listen to me and I found my wallet.

But not all of us are lucky. I have been trying to forget the news articles about sexual abuse flooding the papers the whole of last week but have been very unsuccessful.

The trauma these youngsters or for that matter any one who has been sexually exploited remains alive and burning the rest of their lives. Time the eternal healer too cant do much in this case.. they must be going through toll loss of trust in family.. in god.. in humanity, the dark n greasy feeling of impurity, of being a stigma, the glare and fake sympathy from public,the total loss of self belief, self worth, the “its not reversible” feeling, all these feelings become demons rounding them .. during the day .. in the night.. no exception..

Can we answer their cry of “Why me ?”

Some would say, “its karma”, I really fail to understand that. Why should we suffer for wrong doings in a previous birth ? And if I suffer in this birth, how will I know what wrong I did in my previous birth for which I am suffering now ?

Some would say, “its the body which is suffering but the soul will gain purity / strength.”
What is the use of this kind of purity ? And how can suffering make us more pure and do you think this kind of suffering will make us strong ? Do we need to go through this trauma to emerge stronger ? And how many of them emerge stronger ? There would be a few success stories but by large this leads to either mental dis balance or suicide. Most of them live like living dead..

What is the support our government or each one of us as humans give such people ? Are we open to being friends with them without wanting to know the juicy details of the inside story ? Will any kind of therapy help them heal and look ahead to a future ? Future ?? Do they really have one? The demons of their past will always hover over their present. Will we think of them as potential life partners accepting the fact that they had a traumatic past and leaving it there.. ie in the past? I guess very few of us would ..

I believe in God but sometimes his ways just leave me totally shaken and when I ask him for answers, I pacify myself saying, time will may be unfold it all. But that sounds too hollow to my ear. his ways baffle me and makes me feel so helpless as we really cant do much in the large game of life other than giving our best shot and then like helpless puppets wait for the invisible hands to pull your strings....

fire.. no longer do you keep me warm

but things like these makes us realize how blessed we are to lead a normal life.. to thank god for all the good around us.. or all the bad hidden away from us.. some times its like the world is just a mirage... the truth is deep in and yet very obvious.. its just how deep or shallow you want to dig ...

but the qs still is why ...


well i wish i knew..

there is this wonderful saying in hindi i resort to when am low
"Duniya mein kitne Gum hain, tera gum kitna kum hain"

translated roughly
" There are so many sorrows in the world, compared to that your sorrow is too small."